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Sunday, July 21, 2013

Life Goals and Home Birth

...recently I was asked to compose a list of "50 things I wanted to be, do and/or have in life"...

..if you've never composed such a list - I highly recommend it..

two things you would find on my list:
- witness a live birth (hopefully Courtney Martinet's)
-become a doula 

The first - a dream come true - happened on July 17th, 2013

below you will find "my" birth story:

On Tuesday night, July 16th - Courtney and I both attended our Mary Kay success meeting, which just so happened to be Courtney's due date. When we got in the car at the end of the night, as I drove her home, she told me she had been having steady contractions all evening. I got very excited. I dropped her off, went home, turned my phone ringer ALL THE WAY UP and went to bed - hoping to hear from her. When I woke up on Wednesday I had a text from her that read: 

5:12am "didn't sleep too much last night. Can no longer sleep thru contractions. I think you'll be rescheduling your play date with Sarah."

Today is the day. YAY! Unfortunately for me - I had informed Sara Beth (Courtney's unborn baby) that Wednesday was the ONE day she could not come.. it was definitely the most inconvenient day for me.. (as IF that matters!) and the morning that ensued was completely Murphy's Law.. 

..but THANKFULLY my dear sweet husband agreed to work from home and my dear new friend Ashlee was supportive of me passing her little 11 month old off to a stranger.. I was BEYOND thankful to the people that HELPED ME HELP COURTNEY.. I was able to cover my child care.. so that I could be there for Courtney.. so murphy's law or not.. it worked out.. 

I arrived at Courtney's house just before 2pm and she was sweeping the kitchen floor. Apparently she had been doing laundry and cleaning - her doula, Amy, was with her as was her precious mama, Betsy.. and just before I had arrived, Charlie (her apprentice midwife, also my doula for Jack and Noah) had instructed Amy to get Courtney out for a walk. I'm certain Court wasn't excited about this.. as it was 2pm.. in FLORIDA.. in SUMMER.. the day after her DUE DATE.. but.. Courtney is the type that follows directions, and she does what she's told when it comes to authority.. something I deeply admire in her.. 

.. so.. off for a walk we went... each time she had a contraction, she leaned on mama...



this brought back personal memories for me.. walking around the birthing center with Jack.. 

As we walked... her contractions were coming regularly, and some were more intense than others.. we walked a pretty good distance and I felt hopeful that the birth would indeed be THAT day. On the walk I was able to chat with her doula a little bit about my experience with Marianne and Charlie - who were both present at my birth with Jack (well at least the 54 hours PRE birth) and about how being a doula is a lifelong dream of mine.. SINCE meeting Charlie and having my birth center experience. I think it was even before Courtney got pregnant with Sara Beth that she and I had discussed me possibly being present at the birth. She knew it was a dream of mine, and I was able to BRIEFLY labor with her when she had her 3rd baby, Ben - which sparked my interest EVEN MORE... 

..at this point in the walk I became very excited about the fact I would soon SEE Marianne and Charlie once again - as they were the midwives for THIS birth.. THIS day.. 

When we got back from the walk Courtney's contractions spaced out a bit and Amy half threatened another walk - which of course triggered a famous "stink face" of Courtney's, which totally made me smile. 

The thing about Courtney - I've known her for awhile: we met FRESHMAN year at Palm Beach Atlantic University... I've seen many sides and facets of this beautiful friend of mine.. and a favorite side of her that comes alive especially when I'm around, giving her a hard time.. I was excited to see this side IN ACTION as she labored. In the 45 min post-walk.. was when it appeared. 

If you know anything about the NATURAL progression of labor.. it looks a little bit like this:

1. Contractions - you can talk, laugh, eat, maybe sleep.. 
2. Contractions - you start to pause, they feel "serious", but you can still talk/live life
3. Contractions - you have to pause. you can't talk. you just wait out the pain
4. Contractions - not only can YOU not talk.. but no one else can either. you need total concentration, total silence.. whatever it is you personally need
5. Contractions get INTENSE and you scream, moan.. become internal.. primal.. 
6. you get naked. 
7. you have a baby

At this point (post walk).. Courtney is starting to roll her eyes, get annoyed, and show some true colors.. 

Marianne had arrived and needed to take Courtney's temperature and the thermometer she used.. took awhile.. it beeped.. and kept beeping.. and Courtney asked "how many times will we be taking my temperature?" and Marianne sweetly replied. "every 4 hours.. it's very good that you find this so annoying."

I too realized what a good thing it was that her mood was changing from a very good one.. very conversational.. to slightly annoyed :) this meant progress... 

From this point on.. labor was in full swing and Courtney was working her way around her living room during contractions. We started on one couch.. and then moved to the counter. It was at the counter that I was really able to start helping support her during each contraction:

Amy (her doula) on the left, me, her mama on the right

I remember thinking how in control she seemed of each contraction. She hadn't started moaning yet.. she was just breathing deeply through each one.. and I was in awe of how focused she seemed. When her 3rd child was born.. I was able to labor briefly with her and there were moments of panic, desperation, "I can't do this" and this time around - she seemed as though she was prepared to do this, to accomplish a natural birth at home, and she just seemed so natural at it.


Amy and I worked together to relieve some pressure during contractions. Amy was constantly encouraging.. Courts mom was always close by offering a hand, a kiss and a loving word and in the background you would find Marianne and Charlie, checking the baby's heart rate, checking Court's blood pressure, making sure she was eating and doing all the things she needed to do... 

..it was shortly after this that Michael arrived home and he helped through several contractions.. but eventually Courtney moved to the middle of the living room... at this point there was no more background chatting in between contractions - everyone was invested in the mood and the atmosphere... the room was dim, it was rainy/cloudy outside and the house was silent..

...well, except during contractions!.. because by now.. Courtney was MOANING IT OUT!.. 

**something I looked forward to.. hehe

some of the details are foggy... but at one point, while Courtney was in the middle of the living room, she told Amy and I to take off her pants... THIS made me VERY EXCITED.. because once mama gets naked... baby's a'comin'! .. I remember being beside myself excited once we did that.. and the next thing I noticed.. was that Marianne and Charlie snuck away... they had gone into Courtney's bedroom.. where the plastic sheets and chuck pads were.. in preparation for birth.. 

in all the stories I hear of home births, or birthing center births.. mommas have an idea (maybe) of where they want to have baby.. but often times.. the baby ends up arriving somewhere different.. I love that labor/child birth can be so primal, instinctual.. that you really can't quite plan it out. 

mama and daughter..

so.. as Courtney contracted, Marianne and Charlie set up a large table cloth under Courtney and they started spreading the chuck pads (at least I think that's what they are called!) all around.. they started getting gloves and gauze out and situated.. so as an observer.. I was just in awe of how they could anticipate what was happening... sure, Courtney's contractions and moaning were intense.. but they knew to move to action. 

...one thing I want to record at this point - so I will forever remember it - was how emotional I got every time that Marianne took the doppler to Courts belly to listen to little Sara's heart rate... I've heard plenty of fetal heart rate sounds before.. but for whatever reason.. I just could not contain my tears.. I had to rush, between contractions to the bathroom to wipe my eyes, blow my nose and wash my hands.. just knowing .. that little baby... who was about to come out.. was right there.. in her belly... healthy and happy as could be.. with a beautifully strong heart rate.. 

what a miracle. 

at one point Courtney was leaning back on me, and as I supported her.. she had 2 or 3 contractions right on top of each other.. no break for her.. no break for me! I thought 2 things at that point: 


 1. wow.. my arms are tired.. can't imagine how exhausting and painful that must have been for my dear friend and 

2. if we are getting close.. I really need to let Michael in.. I was occupying this beautiful intimate place.. and I knew that at some point Michael and I would need to switch places.. 



 I whispered to Courtney "hey, when you want me to switch with Michael, you just let me know".. and sure enough, 2 contractions or so later.. Michael took over.

Thankfully there were people in attendance who were smarter than we were.. because the position we (Michael and I) were occupying involved holding Courtney's body weight up during a contraction - not easy! So Marianne told Michael to move to the couch, and he could support Courtney that way - which also told me.. OH, that makes baby's exit door much more accessible.. again.. I thought "BABY IS A'COMIN'!"

 ..this would be Courtney's final labor position.. some thoughts I had had up to this point were how impressed I was that Courtney just gave in, she allowed her body to do the work, and she had a mental game that must have been forcing her to focus her concentration. Later I did come to find out that Court was absolutely having a conversation with herself.. in her head.. during all of this.. maybe she can guest blog her experience :) .. but I knew that through all of this.. she was believing in herself.. her moans were long, controlled, and beautiful. Her mom later called them her "baby song" which I thought was beautifully clever... 

... time was flying.. I couldn't believe that it seemed so close.. I felt as though I had just arrived!  but once Court was on the couch.. the birthing ball was in the way.. there was some readjusting to make sure that Court would be physically supported as well as in good position for Charlie to catch the baby :)

I was so thrilled to watch Charlie and Marianne in action because again, they were both present for Jack.. and Charlie was my doula for Noah.. so I have a personal connection and a deep holy respect for them, and what they do.. I was just so thrilled to be present WITH THEM at the birth of a best friend's baby.. I mean.. talk about DREAM COME TRUE.. 

This last part of the story contains several of my personal favorite moments (which I will mark in bold).. 

I was now on Courts right side, holding her hand, and her mama was on her left, holding that hand.. her mom and I were facing each other and we were watching Courts belly during contractions and there were 2 in a row where not only did we see her tummy harden.. but we could see these little ripples moving downward right by her belly button and then you could see a foot (or some body part) pushing outward.. but definitely downward. It was as if we were just watching this little precious baby move down the birth canal right in front of our eyes... our eyes were wide as we mouthed to each other "DID YOU SEE THAT!?! WASN'T THAT AWESOME!?".. 

at this point.. Court still had her cute pink undies on.. and I looked at Amy and mouthed, "Um.. should we cut off her undies?" and Amy said.. "no, I think Marianne and Charlie will take care of that..".. so I just kept focusing on Courtney - squeezing the life out of my hand during each INTENSE contraction. 

I heard Marianne say, "okay Courtney, we are going to take off your underwear"... and Court shook her head no and prepared for another contraction.. 

... SPLASH

Courtney's water broke... everywhere.. all over us... 

.... and the couch. 

my thoughts: THAT WAS AWESOME!!! 

meanwhile, Courtney is signing "sorry".. with her hand.. 

i was smiling like a fool... coolest thing ever.. splash zone.. water broken.. amazing.. 

after THAT .. we took off her underwear.. and prepared for baby.. :) I still thought we potentially had a little while to wait.. but as her undies came off.. Charlie was right there with a warm compress and she said, "okay Courtney, she is right here".. Besty (courts mama) and I looked at each other.. and then both looked "down there" and what do you know.. there was a head full of hair about to emerge... 

.. court had another contraction and MOAAAAAANED.. but it did not appear that she had pushed up to this point, or was pushing.. she was just MOAAAANINNNG... and BOOM out pops the head and sweet little neck... 

.. Charlie said, "okay Courtney, slow down.. you need to breathe through these" and for the first time in labor, Courtney's eyes were OPEN.. WIDE.. like a cartoon character and she was doing the old school, what you see in the movies, breathing.. WHEW WHEW WHEW WHEW .. and not even moments later Sara Beth came flying out.. and Charlie placed her right up on Courtney's chest: 

July 17th, 2013 6:04pm; 8 pounds 3 ounces (aka PERFECT) 


..fresh.. sweet baby.. straight from the belly.. what a miracle.. I lost it... started bawling... cried like a little baby :) 



now.. I could go on.. and tell the details of the remaining 3 hours until I went home.. but that wasn't my focus in writing this blog.. I wrote it because I wanted to forever remember this experience with my dear friend.. and I also wanted to reflect on how INCREDIBLE she did during a natural labor experience at home. 

.. she was strong.. she acted so natural.. and for heaven's sake.. SHE BREATHED HER BABY OUT.. 

..she, Courtney Martinet, blew my mind that day (as I knew she would.. if she allowed me to witness such a miracle).. and I could not be more proud of her...

I am BEYOND thankful that she and Michael allowed me to be such an intimate part of such a miraculous experience.. I will be forever grateful.. 


I love this family.. and I love this friend.. I am so thankful that our husbands grew up in Polk County, Florida.. and BOTH decided to "move home" to raise families. 

I am so thankful that Palm Beach Atlantic University brought us all together.. 

.. I am just.. plain.. thankful. .. 

heathy baby. healthy mama. happy daddy.

(beautiful midwife!)

aren't they JUST beautiful: 


"hi mom, it's nice to meet you." - sara beth

In closing, I hope to be a doula one day.. I hope to join with other mamas on their birth journeys of bringing new life into this world.. and I'm so thrilled to have had this experience to look back on. 

I'm including a few links.. if you are looking for a midwife, doula or other natural birth services.. you can click here and here.. and I highly recommend you do. 

All edited (black and white) photos were thanks to Sarah Matthews, my dear sweet co-blogger.


I leave you with this image: sweet Sara Beth, 4 days old - 
taken and edited by Sarah Matthews




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