A Birth Day to Remember, Suzie's Story....

Our God is a God who hears...

A mighty God whose ways are higher than our ways...

I begin this post by saying that God gives grace to the humble...and it is with humility and grace that I begin this post about my precious daughters birth. Her story begins rather dramatically, and I know that God must have dramatic plans for her life!

As a "high I" on the DISC test - I love attention and I willingly put myself in the spotlight...

...everyone knew I was 42 + weeks pregnant, and many were worried about that.. But I was in excellent hands and my baby & I were monitored regularly, so... I had no fears. 

When Brad graciously agreed to allowing me my dream of a home birth, he    said, "babe, I just need a no-drama birth, a calm, peaceful, no-stress experience"... Both of our previous birth experiences had their share of drama including an ambulance ride (Jack) and a crowning baby (Noah) as we pulled up to the hospital.

As 42 weeks and 2 days arrived, it became a DESPERATE plea of mine ... "Lord, please allow this labor and delivery to be smooth & seamless"...

...I had witnessed this with Courtney's home birth, SO - I knew it was possible with mine.

**and it was possible… but that was not going to be our story.. you see in hindsight, as I write this line 2 weeks post Suzie's birth.. I realize that God knew how she would arrive.. and whether it would have been at home or the hospital.. her position/arrival would have been the same.. yet the 2 scenarios would have been quite different (more on that later)**

I realize now, I probably prayed this more for everyone else, all of those watching our story unfold. I wanted everyone to see that I could go LONG in my pregnancy and have a PERFECT home birth. But you know what? If that would have happened.. I would have given all the credit to my beautiful midwife, Marianne Power, and myself. 

NOW, I see God's hand at work in Suzie's beginning and I see how God blessed my midwife's capable hands and how He is so giving, so gracious, so loving.. and also.. VERY CONFUSING at times! God deserves the GLORY and recognition in this story as He continues to HuMbLe me. 

When Jack was born, I KNEW we would not transfer. 

we did. 

God taught me many things through that.. and I am a better wife, mom, friend and daughter because of it. 

Noah's birth was practically seamless… and I realize in hindsight I always give myself credit for the awesome VBAC and what a redemptive birth that was FOR ME. 

God doesn't get much glory in that story.. I often praise myself, actually. 

so… with that said... 


…it's funny how God works.. 

Apparently I'm a lot like the Israelites: I FORGET who is in charge, and who is IN CONTROL. 

NOT ME. 

With Jack I used a birthing center and did not even allow myself to THINK about the possibility of a transfer to the hospital...but thankfully my wise husband made me talk through it and prepare, and again... After 54 hours of labor, an acynclitic baby (his head was crooked) and contractions that spaced out, I had to be transferred for a C-section... I learned a lot through that experience and I now know that of course Gods hand was in that, and all that I learned thereafter.

The midwife who stuck it out with me for 54 hours and who graciously allowed me to realize on my own that I would be transferred was the same who would be delivering my Suzie. I couldn't wait for our story to come full circle.

So, back to how funny God is...

(and I'm sure to the embarrassment of my hubby, my stories are sometimes full of graphic details...so read on with caution)

May 9th, 2014: 1:48am.... 42 weeks 3 days pregnant

I had to pee. 

I stumbled in the darkness and had my moment in the pitch dark bathroom, and as I got up to return to bed, I literally had this thought: TURN ON THE LIGHT.

there was blood in the toilet.

...and I was SO EXCITED! That meant something was happening!

Contractions began at 2am... Slow & steady ... But constant. Praise the LORD, today might be the day, and I was ready. This was the first pregnancy that I felt "done"...

I alerted the troops first thing in the morning: midwife, childcare, KK (mother in law), photographer, and my dear home birth sister... The cleaning lady was supposed to come that day and I really wanted her to come anyway because my best friend and baby girls namesake was to arrive that night and I wanted the bathrooms & floors clean.. So turns out she was present too!

I had written this that morning on the chalk board

My mother in law brought Panera breakfast and we ate as a family with the boys, Jack & Noah, and then they got picked up by my dear friend Jordan at 9... Contractions were roughly 8-10 min apart, but not very intense...part of me feared it would be a long day...

Courtney, my dear home birth sister and bestie, had been working on a childcare plan for her 4 adorables (stole that from you, Lauren!) and her plan was to come shortly after 10am... (thank you Jody Grant for making that possible!!)

It was a BEAUTIFUL sunny, breezy day out and I told Brad & KK I wanted to walk. I remembered that Courtney's labor really jump started when she walked...and I certainly did not want this labor to stall... Midwife and friends were on the way - so we had to make sure something was going to happen!! It was a slow trek around the block... I wasn't yet pausing during contractions, but it felt good to be out and moving.

We got home, grabbed some water and I wanted to go again.
So we did.
This time, I started pausing during contractions & leaning on the hubs…

We got home and made a lunch plan. Poppy (father in law) was to bring subs from Mama Dilo's. YUM, I was starving.

At this point something was going on that was occupying KK & Brad (later found out it was a water leak behind the washing machine).. So I was laboring alone in my living room listening to a Suzie playlist that KK had created... It was pretty empowering, sitting there, dealing with each contraction with breath and focus, alone. But then..

...one hit me hard.

I texted Courtney, "I need you... I need a buddy"... Followed by, "oh gosh, last 2.. Killer, and on my own. Pretty empowering actually."

I had a thought after this: Marianne (my midwife) needs to get here. This is real.

Courtney & Marianne showed up around the same time (details are a blur of course).. but I know that when Courtney showed up, I wasn't making noises… but shortly after she arrived my contractions were intense enough that I was making some beautiful noises during each one.. 

my sub arrived from Mama Dilo's

I started chowing down between contractions, so delish!!

I had a few contractions and started hoping that my dear friend Sarah, and photographer, would show up soon...and as soon as I had that thought, she did! Everyone was in place, ALMOST all the people that I had hoped and dreamed could be there, were!

Charlie (former birth assistant, doula and now midwife) was missing… largely due to miscommunication, and even now, my heart aches that she wasn't present… but I felt her love and support via text and thought throughout the process…

The first picture Sarah took when she arrived

My darling hubby - one of the best birth partners out there

Let's not leave out Charlie…this WAS a home birth after all!

My KK (mother in law) - another one of the best birth partners around

Weeks before this I had a daydream of my head in Court's lap: she sat on the couch, as I contracted with hubby behind or beside me... And so, I asked Court to come sit on the couch and it was the following contractions that really started getting serious... The moaning had begun.. My "whale song" as Court called it, ensued...

Time was flying.

It was lunch time.. 12ish? Maybe a little later?

I couldn't believe how "text book" my labor was.. the contractions were getting longer, stronger, and closer together.. intensity RISING with each one.. I was certain that we were ABOUT to have a baby. 

I labored in this position (the one from my day dream) for quite awhile:

Meanwhile - there was worship music playing in the background...

and there was one particular chorus that I had hoped to hear DURING a contraction, and what do you know - over the course of my labor I heard that chorus during MULTIPLE contractions.. it is a Kari Jobe song, and the line in the song is "breathe…" and she sings it over and over again. 

The atmosphere was just:

PERFECT

I was surrounded by people who love me and I was in awe of how quickly things were moving

my contractions weren't PAINFUL, they were PRODUCTIVE (Courtney helped me to name this reality), I knew that with each one.. my baby was coming closer and closer to being born "gently into my loving arms" (one of my previously memorized birth affirmations)

  

Soon enough I felt "stuff" coming out and again, I was SO EXCITED because this meant progress.. and during that next contraction my water broke

At this point I thought for sure my baby would come while I was in this position:

I was so happy to be in Courtney's lap… I knew that at 1pm she needed to nurse her baby Sara - and I was nervous that the time was nearing, so I was just hoping beyond hopes that she wouldn't have to leave…

Courtney later told me that she was just SO HAPPY when my contractions (and thus my moanings) intensified because she knew I was so close to meeting my little Suzie.. of course my FABULOUS photographer (and co-blogger) captured that emotion:

It was in this intimate position with my dear home birth sister that I began pushing. Shortly after my water broke I had the urge.. so I started grunting and pushing with each contraction.. 

it was also in this position that I heard Courtney asking Brad to text Jody and tell her to "hold off" bringing Sara to nurse. Courtney had a master plan that our friend Jody could bring Sara to my house, Courtney could nurse in the car, and then return to the birth…

..but Court and I both assumed at this point that baby was a'comin!…

I became tired in this position and felt the need to lay down

pushing in this position felt good for awhile - I started feeling progress… but I was also getting tired. 

it was while in this position that between contractions I told Courtney to nurse her baby, I told her I wouldn't mind her little noises, and that in fact, I thought it would be great if she was nursing her baby while I was pushing out mine…

which - was basically what ended up happening :) 

***side note: …during pregnancy I read a book. a book that I HIGHLY recommend EVERYONE read.. but especially preggo's or women thinking about becoming pregnant. the book is Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth - one of the things you learn in this book is that there is a maneuver that Ina May learned while she was overseas for delivering babies with shoulder dystocia. She brought this method back to the U.S. with her and later the maneuver was named after her:

Gaskin maneuver, named after Certified Professional Midwife, Ina May Gaskin, involves moving the mother to an all fours position with the back arched, widening the pelvic outlet***

this info plays a role in what happened next

I was getting discouraged and tired.. and at one point, while on my back, I felt a sudden (and rather intense) urge to flip over. I knew in my head that I needed to flip over, I needed gravity on my side .. and I just NEEDED to flip over. No one told me to. I just knew I had to. 

**well, someone did tell me to. I believe this was one of those divine moments where I was actually sensitive to the Holy Spirit's prompting.. because of what was coming next…

So - onto all fours I went 

this felt better and progress was being made.. 

(later, in debriefing with Courtney, we figured out that I was pushing for less than an hour - maybe 45 minutes-ish)

FINALLY I felt that "ring of fire" and PRAISE THE LORD I knew that meant my baby was coming out in the next contraction (because, well - that's what happened with Noah!)

by this time I had pushed the above pictured birthing ball out of the way and my hands were flat on the ground and I was pushing with my back VERY ARCHED (think cat pose for yoga)…

as each subsequent contraction came though.. I still felt that ring of fire, and it was even more intense

I didn't know why

I thought … umm, the baby is supposed to be slipping out now… 

and she wasn't

it was shortly thereafter (less than a minute or two) that I heard and felt a sense of urgency in the voices around me that were encouraging me to push. 

specifically Marianne & Brad

"push Jenny, this baby needs to come out NOW.. push"

I had been screaming, "GET HER OUT, PULL HER OUT, why isn't she out yet!?" 

and now I heard their urgency, so I stopped, closed my eyes and focused. I felt as though I was pushing my brains out.. I WAS pushing.. 

then.. my baby arrived. 

2:05pm

very pale, blue lips, lifeless and not crying

this is my dear KK, on her knees praying, thinking I had delivered a stillborn:

(fast forward a moment) this is my dear KK when she heard Suzie's first cry:

(please note baby Sara, present at her BFF's birth)

Marianne laid baby Suzie down directly in front of me and said, "okay momma, talk to your baby" and I started to rub her belly, I bent forward and said things like: "oh girl, daddy is going be SO MAD… you'd better perk up because we are in trouble! He needed a NO DRAMA birth, and he will NEVER let us do this again if there is drama.. you'd better think about this.. daddy is going to be so mad…"

as I was talking gently to her, Marianne provided 2 or 3 rescue breaths and all I could think was: this is going to be okay. I've read about things like this happening, and they DO happen.. some babies just need a kick start. 

I had a "peace that passes all understanding" (Phil 4:7)

not to say that my dear husband didn't have this peace.. but he too thought I had delivered a still-born and was thinking frantically in is mind a way to shield me from seeing my pale baby… but BOOM Marianne put her STRAIGHT in front of me

I was completely at peace and I knew that everything would be okay

after those 2 or 3 rescue breaths the oxygen tank was making its way over but my darling Suzie was already starting to cough and breathe… the oxygen tank helped her to pink-up quickly but she was already crying practically as they put the mask on her

moments. this all took mere moments.

Marianne handed my baby to me (would love to post that picture, but it's awfully graphic!) and I held her and listened to her sweet cry. 

in fact, I didn't soothe my baby for what seemed forever…I knew that EVERYONE in that room needed to hear her crying…so I just let her…

 
 my BEAUTIFUL midwife: Marianne Power

SO: what happened? My baby had 3 strikes against her… any of these 3 on their own would have been less dramatic, but she had shoulder dystocia (see above), she had a compound presentation (her hand was up by her face) AND the cord was wrapped around her neck.

Praise the Lord that instinctually, without anyone telling me, I flipped over onto all fours - knowing in hindsight that that is the BEST position to be in for delivering a baby with shoulder dystocia… for that I am so thankful.

I digress a moment here in the story to tell you that a day or two following her birth I thought about not sharing all of the details with the world via blog, I told this to a friend of mine and she texted me this: 

"I got your email yesterday (I sent an email to my non-FB friends telling them the major details of the story) and I want to tell you it's an incredible birth story and I hope you DO share all of the details. Part of being able to make the decision to have a home birth is to really accept the fact that the worst could happen, but you overcame that fear and when actually faced with it, responded in true peace. I totally see how a home birth was the better option for you and I hope you're not regretting it (we aren't!) because if God's will was for Suzie to be born in that manner, regardless of location, a hospital birth would not have given Suzie to you the moment she was born like your midwife did. A hospital scenario would have been way different and possibly more dramatic and scarier."

**thank you Alicia for these kind words**

and you know what? she's right. Suzie would likely have spent a night in the NICU, away from me… and I wouldn't have bonded immediately with her. I think there is MUCH VALUE in those precautions, obviously… 

but for me.. for this birth.. Suzie was (and is) just fine..

well.. wish my story ended there.. but it doesn't.. 

after Marianne handed my baby to me, before I went from the floor to the couch I was give pitocin in my thigh. I knew that this was to help my uterus contract… but I wasn't sure why she was giving it to me.. this wasn't standard procedure…  

a second shot of pitocin in my thigh

I got moved up to the couch and felt a gush of blood leave my body

now 2 pills, cervidil ..

Marianne asks me, how are you feeling? Do you feel light headed?

I guess I felt a little woozy. I was also hungry. 

I was brought orange juice and the remainder of my Mama Dilo's sub and I chowed down.. 

Courtney brushed my hair (umm.. and later, in the hospital, she washed my feet and legs.. what a true servant and beautiful soul.. I ALSO found out later that she stayed an hour after everyone left and cleaned up my house and re-made my bed.. oh Courtney, thank you… I adore you more than words can say)

I delivered my placenta and felt another HUGE GUSH of blood and received another shot of some kind in my thigh..

Marianne kept pushing on my uterus and she wasn't happy with what she was feeling. 

She told me she was going to call an ambulance because my uterus wasn't contracting well and I was losing too much blood. 

Poor Marianne: this was the SECOND time she's had to call an ambulance for me. The percentage of times she has to do this is SO LOW.. and here I am.. raising her percentage.. 

a hemorrhage. 

really Lord? 

WHY?

**in hindsight as I write this 2 weeks later, I am so thankful. I was able to spend SO MUCH TIME bonding with my Suzie that she felt like a first baby. I needed recovery and rest time, and therefore had no visitors and I was spoiled by my childhood best friend Suzanne Marie (who my baby is named after) and my husband who took EXCELLENT care of me.. I was really able to fully engage in my newborn and her habits and faces … precious time that I am JUST SO THANKFUL for!

No need to go into all of the details after that.. but after I left in the ambulance my baby got weighed and measured and there were some sweet pictures taken:

My darling friend and photographer and co-blogger (shall I go on?) also came to the hospital to wrap things up and take a few pictures of us there.. they aren't my favorite (because eww. I'm swollen and hospital gowned..) but this IS where the story of the day ended...

It was at this moment in time that I learned I had birthed a 9 pound 2 ounce baby that was 21 inches long

what?

BOTH of my boys, at 41 weeks, were 7.5 and 7.9

I was shocked.

…so, the 3 strikes against her AND SHE WAS BIIIG! sheesh...

We decided to admit Suzie, even though we were able to keep her as a "visitor"… they kept a close eye on her, but neurologically she is perfect… and later the pediatrician even said as much, and commented on how strong she was… 

my perfect little squishy.

SOOOOO, in conclusion… there are so many things I wanted to convey as I told her (our) story… but the main thing was that we are NOT in control. 

I wanted everything to go perfectly

don't we all? 

but this story is what it is for a REASON. God did not do this TO ME, he did this FOR ME (I believe those are Lauren's wise words to me)

He has a plan and a purpose.. for MY LIFE, for SUZIE'S life.. and possibly for someone who is reading this.. someone may just need this story. I hope and pray it is used for good and to GLORIFY GOD.. 

I'm so glad I can say that she was born at home and I'm so thankful for Marianne and her willingness to brave birth with me once again 

I'm very thankful for all the friends and family who I KNOW were covering us in prayer and for Courtney's willingness to be the recipient of what must have been hundreds of texts as she kept people informed 

This was a day to be remembered and one I will not soon forget

I end with one of my favorite shots: 

All watermarked photos taken by Sarah Matthews

Doula Reimbursement

I was about 32 weeks pregnant with Hope when I thought about hiring a doula. Knowing friends who had used them, I thought it might be something I would benefit from, especially because I wanted to have a med-free birth. I emailed Charlie Rae Young, a doula that Jenny had used during her pregnancy with Noah. We met a few times before my due date and she was always available via phone or text if I had any questions. When I called my insurance company to inquire about coverage, their answer was short and to the point - "Sorry, but your insurance doesn't cover doulas. Even though I was going to pay $800 out of pocket, it was an experience I definitely didn't want to pass up. (for anyone wondering, that money covered two pre-natal home visits, the entire birth, a post partum home visit, lactation support and constant availability via text/email/phone).

I briefly wrote about how amazing it was to have a Charlie present at the birth of Hope. If anyone is on the fence or questioning having a doula for their birth experience, I say do it! You can never have too much support while you're in labor.

In January, I decided to write a letter to my insurance company, requesting reimbursement for my doula, or "labor support services." Even though I had been turned down over the phone, Charlie said it wouldn't hurt to send a letter. I mean, really, the worst they could say was no - and I'd already heard that.

Below is the letter I sent (certain areas blocked out for privacy):

(Name/Address/Phone)
DOB: x/xx/xx
(Insurance ID & Account Number)
Date of Delivery: November 15, 2012

January 8, 2013

With the labor support of Charlie Rae Young, DOULA, CLC, SM, I was able to forgo medical pain management and avoid other interventions that are costly to (insurance company), including a cesarean birth, during my recent vaginal birth at Florida Hospital.

The following were charged to (insurance company) during the birth of my first daughter on 11/15/10:

Vacuum Extract/Forceps: $197.00
Vacuum Mityvac: $126.83
Hi Risk Care per hour: $552.00 (8 hours)
Urinary Cath Ins-Foley: $202.00 (2)
OB Epidural Service: $506.00
Urinary Cath Ins-ST CA: $101.00
Daily Bed Service: $1508.00 (quicker recovery, so stayed one less night this time)

This is a savings total to (insurance company) of at least $3192.83, plus the cost of pain medication, as I used much less during the recovery period this time around. The cost of my labor support was $800.00, in which I am requesting reimbursement.

Please feel free to call with any questions.

Sincerely,
Sarah

I mailed it off, crossed my fingers, and waited to hear back. Four weeks later, I opened up my mailbox to see this:

 

I went screaming into the house, I was so excited. Progress! And my total out of pocket expenses? $230. Not bad. 

Feel free to use the above letter to start drafting a letter to YOUR insurance company. If more companies were willing to cover labor support, I'd like to think we'd be on our way to less inductions, c-sections and an all around happier birthing experience for all women. Good luck!

(*Update - I also included an itemized invoice from Charlie along with my letter - something most doulas should provide.)

Life Goals and Home Birth

...recently I was asked to compose a list of "50 things I wanted to be, do and/or have in life"...

..if you've never composed such a list - I highly recommend it..

two things you would find on my list:

- witness a live birth (hopefully Courtney Martinet's)

-become a doula 

The first - a dream come true - happened on July 17th, 2013

below you will find "my" birth story:

On Tuesday night, July 16th - Courtney and I both attended our Mary Kay success meeting, which just so happened to be Courtney's due date. When we got in the car at the end of the night, as I drove her home, she told me she had been having steady contractions all evening. I got very excited. I dropped her off, went home, turned my phone ringer ALL THE WAY UP and went to bed - hoping to hear from her. When I woke up on Wednesday I had a text from her that read: 

5:12am "didn't sleep too much last night. Can no longer sleep thru contractions. I think you'll be rescheduling your play date with Sarah."

Today is the day. YAY! Unfortunately for me - I had informed Sara Beth (Courtney's unborn baby) that Wednesday was the ONE day she could not come.. it was definitely the most inconvenient day for me.. (as IF that matters!) and the morning that ensued was completely Murphy's Law.. 

..but THANKFULLY my dear sweet husband agreed to work from home and my dear new friend Ashlee was supportive of me passing her little 11 month old off to a stranger.. I was BEYOND thankful to the people that HELPED ME HELP COURTNEY.. I was able to cover my child care.. so that I could be there for Courtney.. so murphy's law or not.. it worked out.. 

I arrived at Courtney's house just before 2pm and she was sweeping the kitchen floor. Apparently she had been doing laundry and cleaning - her doula, Amy, was with her as was her precious mama, Betsy.. and just before I had arrived, Charlie (her apprentice midwife, also my doula for Jack and Noah) had instructed Amy to get Courtney out for a walk. I'm certain Court wasn't excited about this.. as it was 2pm.. in FLORIDA.. in SUMMER.. the day after her DUE DATE.. but.. Courtney is the type that follows directions, and she does what she's told when it comes to authority.. something I deeply admire in her.. 

.. so.. off for a walk we went... each time she had a contraction, she leaned on mama...

this brought back personal memories for me.. walking around the birthing center with Jack.. 

As we walked... her contractions were coming regularly, and some were more intense than others.. we walked a pretty good distance and I felt hopeful that the birth would indeed be THAT day. On the walk I was able to chat with her doula a little bit about my experience with Marianne and Charlie - who were both present at my birth with Jack (well at least the 54 hours PRE birth) and about how being a doula is a lifelong dream of mine.. SINCE meeting Charlie and having my birth center experience. I think it was even before Courtney got pregnant with Sara Beth that she and I had discussed me possibly being present at the birth. She knew it was a dream of mine, and I was able to BRIEFLY labor with her when she had her 3rd baby, Ben - which sparked my interest EVEN MORE... 

..at this point in the walk I became very excited about the fact I would soon SEE Marianne and Charlie once again - as they were the midwives for THIS birth.. THIS day.. 

When we got back from the walk Courtney's contractions spaced out a bit and Amy half threatened another walk - which of course triggered a famous "stink face" of Courtney's, which totally made me smile. 

The thing about Courtney - I've known her for awhile: we met FRESHMAN year at Palm Beach Atlantic University... I've seen many sides and facets of this beautiful friend of mine.. and a favorite side of her that comes alive especially when I'm around, giving her a hard time.. I was excited to see this side IN ACTION as she labored. In the 45 min post-walk.. was when it appeared. 

If you know anything about the NATURAL progression of labor.. it looks a little bit like this:

1. Contractions - you can talk, laugh, eat, maybe sleep.. 

2. Contractions - you start to pause, they feel "serious", but you can still talk/live life

3. Contractions - you have to pause. you can't talk. you just wait out the pain

4. Contractions - not only can YOU not talk.. but no one else can either. you need total concentration, total silence.. whatever it is you personally need

5. Contractions get INTENSE and you scream, moan.. become internal.. primal.. 

6. you get naked. 

7. you have a baby

At this point (post walk).. Courtney is starting to roll her eyes, get annoyed, and show some true colors.. 

Marianne had arrived and needed to take Courtney's temperature and the thermometer she used.. took awhile.. it beeped.. and kept beeping.. and Courtney asked "how many times will we be taking my temperature?" and Marianne sweetly replied. "every 4 hours.. it's very good that you find this so annoying."

I too realized what a good thing it was that her mood was changing from a very good one.. very conversational.. to slightly annoyed :) this meant progress... 

From this point on.. labor was in full swing and Courtney was working her way around her living room during contractions. We started on one couch.. and then moved to the counter. It was at the counter that I was really able to start helping support her during each contraction:

Amy (her doula) on the left, me, her mama on the right

I remember thinking how in control she seemed of each contraction. She hadn't started moaning yet.. she was just breathing deeply through each one.. and I was in awe of how focused she seemed. When her 3rd child was born.. I was able to labor briefly with her and there were moments of panic, desperation, "I can't do this" and this time around - she seemed as though she was prepared to do this, to accomplish a natural birth at home, and she just seemed so natural at it.

Amy and I worked together to relieve some pressure during contractions. Amy was constantly encouraging.. Courts mom was always close by offering a hand, a kiss and a loving word and in the background you would find Marianne and Charlie, checking the baby's heart rate, checking Court's blood pressure, making sure she was eating and doing all the things she needed to do... 

..it was shortly after this that Michael arrived home and he helped through several contractions.. but eventually Courtney moved to the middle of the living room... at this point there was no more background chatting in between contractions - everyone was invested in the mood and the atmosphere... the room was dim, it was rainy/cloudy outside and the house was silent..

...well, except during contractions!.. because by now.. Courtney was MOANING IT OUT!.. 

**something I looked forward to.. hehe

some of the details are foggy... but at one point, while Courtney was in the middle of the living room, she told Amy and I to take off her pants... THIS made me VERY EXCITED.. because once mama gets naked... baby's a'comin'! .. I remember being beside myself excited once we did that.. and the next thing I noticed.. was that Marianne and Charlie snuck away... they had gone into Courtney's bedroom.. where the plastic sheets and chuck pads were.. in preparation for birth.. 

in all the stories I hear of home births, or birthing center births.. mommas have an idea (maybe) of where they want to have baby.. but often times.. the baby ends up arriving somewhere different.. I love that labor/child birth can be so primal, instinctual.. that you really can't quite plan it out. 

mama and daughter..

so.. as Courtney contracted, Marianne and Charlie set up a large table cloth under Courtney and they started spreading the chuck pads (at least I think that's what they are called!) all around.. they started getting gloves and gauze out and situated.. so as an observer.. I was just in awe of how they could anticipate what was happening... sure, Courtney's contractions and moaning were intense.. but they knew to move to action. 

...one thing I want to record at this point - so I will forever remember it - was how emotional I got every time that Marianne took the doppler to Courts belly to listen to little Sara's heart rate... I've heard plenty of fetal heart rate sounds before.. but for whatever reason.. I just could not contain my tears.. I had to rush, between contractions to the bathroom to wipe my eyes, blow my nose and wash my hands.. just knowing .. that little baby... who was about to come out.. was right there.. in her belly... healthy and happy as could be.. with a beautifully strong heart rate.. 

what a miracle. 

at one point Courtney was leaning back on me, and as I supported her.. she had 2 or 3 contractions right on top of each other.. no break for her.. no break for me! I thought 2 things at that point: 

 1. wow.. my arms are tired.. can't imagine how exhausting and painful that must have been for my dear friend and 

2. if we are getting close.. I really need to let Michael in.. I was occupying this beautiful intimate place.. and I knew that at some point Michael and I would need to switch places.. 

 I whispered to Courtney "hey, when you want me to switch with Michael, you just let me know".. and sure enough, 2 contractions or so later.. Michael took over.

Thankfully there were people in attendance who were smarter than we were.. because the position we (Michael and I) were occupying involved holding Courtney's body weight up during a contraction - not easy! So Marianne told Michael to move to the couch, and he could support Courtney that way - which also told me.. OH, that makes baby's exit door much more accessible.. again.. I thought "BABY IS A'COMIN'!"

 ..this would be Courtney's final labor position.. some thoughts I had had up to this point were how impressed I was that Courtney just gave in, she allowed her body to do the work, and she had a mental game that must have been forcing her to focus her concentration. Later I did come to find out that Court was absolutely having a conversation with herself.. in her head.. during all of this.. maybe she can guest blog her experience :) .. but I knew that through all of this.. she was believing in herself.. her moans were long, controlled, and beautiful. Her mom later called them her "baby song" which I thought was beautifully clever... 

... time was flying.. I couldn't believe that it seemed so close.. I felt as though I had just arrived!  but once Court was on the couch.. the birthing ball was in the way.. there was some readjusting to make sure that Court would be physically supported as well as in good position for Charlie to catch the baby :)

I was so thrilled to watch Charlie and Marianne in action because again, they were both present for Jack.. and Charlie was my doula for Noah.. so I have a personal connection and a deep holy respect for them, and what they do.. I was just so thrilled to be present WITH THEM at the birth of a best friend's baby.. I mean.. talk about DREAM COME TRUE.. 

This last part of the story contains several of my personal favorite moments (which I will mark in bold).. 

I was now on Courts right side, holding her hand, and her mama was on her left, holding that hand.. her mom and I were facing each other and we were watching Courts belly during contractions and there were 2 in a row where not only did we see her tummy harden.. but we could see these little ripples moving downward right by her belly button and then you could see a foot (or some body part) pushing outward.. but definitely downward. It was as if we were just watching this little precious baby move down the birth canal right in front of our eyes... our eyes were wide as we mouthed to each other "DID YOU SEE THAT!?! WASN'T THAT AWESOME!?".. 

at this point.. Court still had her cute pink undies on.. and I looked at Amy and mouthed, "Um.. should we cut off her undies?" and Amy said.. "no, I think Marianne and Charlie will take care of that..".. so I just kept focusing on Courtney - squeezing the life out of my hand during each INTENSE contraction. 

I heard Marianne say, "okay Courtney, we are going to take off your underwear"... and Court shook her head no and prepared for another contraction.. 

... SPLASH! 

Courtney's water broke... everywhere.. all over us... 

.... and the couch. 

my thoughts: THAT WAS AWESOME!!! 

meanwhile, Courtney is signing "sorry".. with her hand.. 

i was smiling like a fool... coolest thing ever.. splash zone.. water broken.. amazing.. 

after THAT .. we took off her underwear.. and prepared for baby.. :) I still thought we potentially had a little while to wait.. but as her undies came off.. Charlie was right there with a warm compress and she said, "okay Courtney, she is right here".. Besty (courts mama) and I looked at each other.. and then both looked "down there" and what do you know.. there was a head full of hair about to emerge... 

.. court had another contraction and MOAAAAAANED.. but it did not appear that she had pushed up to this point, or was pushing.. she was just MOAAAANINNNG... and BOOM out pops the head and sweet little neck... 

.. Charlie said, "okay Courtney, slow down.. you need to breathe through these" and for the first time in labor, Courtney's eyes were OPEN.. WIDE.. like a cartoon character and she was doing the old school, what you see in the movies, breathing.. WHEW WHEW WHEW WHEW .. and not even moments later Sara Beth came flying out.. and Charlie placed her right up on Courtney's chest: 

July 17th, 2013 6:04pm; 8 pounds 3 ounces (aka PERFECT) 

..fresh.. sweet baby.. straight from the belly.. what a miracle.. I lost it... started bawling... cried like a little baby :) 

now.. I could go on.. and tell the details of the remaining 3 hours until I went home.. but that wasn't my focus in writing this blog.. I wrote it because I wanted to forever remember this experience with my dear friend.. and I also wanted to reflect on how INCREDIBLE she did during a natural labor experience at home. 

.. she was strong.. she acted so natural.. and for heaven's sake.. SHE BREATHED HER BABY OUT.. 

..she, Courtney Martinet, blew my mind that day (as I knew she would.. if she allowed me to witness such a miracle).. and I could not be more proud of her...

I am BEYOND thankful that she and Michael allowed me to be such an intimate part of such a miraculous experience.. I will be forever grateful.. 

I love this family.. and I love this friend.. I am so thankful that our husbands grew up in Polk County, Florida.. and BOTH decided to "move home" to raise families. 

I am so thankful that Palm Beach Atlantic University brought us all together.. 

.. I am just.. plain.. thankful. .. 

heathy baby. healthy mama. happy daddy.

(beautiful midwife!)

aren't they JUST beautiful: 

"hi mom, it's nice to meet you." - sara beth

In closing, I hope to be a doula one day.. I hope to join with other mamas on their birth journeys of bringing new life into this world.. and I'm so thrilled to have had this experience to look back on. 

I'm including a few links.. if you are looking for a midwife, doula or other natural birth services.. you can click here and here.. and I highly recommend you do. 

All edited (black and white) photos were thanks to Sarah Matthews, my dear sweet co-blogger.

I leave you with this image: sweet Sara Beth, 4 days old - 

taken and edited by Sarah Matthews